More Mr. Bean

MR BEAN JOKES


BRAIN TUMOR
Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss! ! ! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

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MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure,
the answer is 6! !

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WHILE IN A DRUG STORE
Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet! !

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QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE
Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no. , hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: Four asterisks!

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MARRY
Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.

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CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND
Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film.
I didn't see any picture.
Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.

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SPELLING LESSON
Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful..
is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!

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Fun Facts

Things You Didn't Know You Didn't Know


-If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

-Michael Jordan has more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

-You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

-The most common name in the world is Mohammed.

-A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

-A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

-A snail can sleep for three years.

-All polar bears are left handed.

-American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

-Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

-An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

-Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

-Butterflies taste with their feet

-Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about 10.

-Cats urine glows under a black light.

-China have more English speakers than the United States.

-Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear any pants.

-Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

-February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

-Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

-If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human's neck.

-If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

-If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you will have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

-In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

-Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

-Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

-No word in the English language rhymes with month.

-On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

-Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

-Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

-Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

-Starfish haven't got brains.

-Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

-The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

-The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night.

-The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth 2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

-The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

-The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

-The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

-TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

-Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

-You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.